Oh the Feels!

Starting over was not part of the plan. Especially with me trying to make my way through school with my goal being nursing school. Yet, Five years ago we found out we were expecting again. This was quite a shock since we had a 7 and 8 year old. We both couldn't agree more starting over was one of the best thing to happen to us later in life. I was scrubbing super dirty having played outside with his big brothers all afternoon toes, watching his bath water turn mucky, and just soaking him in. As I rinsed him off he asked if I could add Mr. Bubbles to his bath. He then calls out and asks if I could make him Mickey Mouse. That is when I take a hand full of bubbles and plop them on his head to make ears. He then stands stares and his reflection in the mirror and giggles, showing those tiny white teeth. That's when it happens, "All the Feels" come streaming into my heart in such a gush. Being an older mom with her youngest so spaced out from his siblings has its advantages. One is you tend to not fret the small stuff, he's grumpy because he wants a cupcake for breakfast? Well I know it probably has same amount of sugar then a regular muffin or even cereal so yeah I'll give him the cupcake. You seriously just take things with more stride. But for me the number one advantage is enjoying every single moment. With Z & E I enjoyed them  but never allowed myself to see that they weren't  babies anymore, in my eyes they were still so little. It wasn't until Ash was born that our eyes opened to the fact that Z & E were little boys, not babies. So we absorb every giggle, pout, tantrum, squeal and smile that we can. It wont be long before our toddler is a gruff voiced teenager saying, "Mom, I'm still hungry can I have some more?"

Blog Dreamin....

So as one can see keeping up with this blog is not something on top of my list. Yet, last night I dreamed about this blog...why? I guess it was my mind screaming for me to do something for myself. I find that at the ripe ol age of 40 that I have changed since I first started this blog. I was a  mommy on a mission! I lived for crafts and picnics in the park. I wanted to bake for no reason and frolic through the parks and teach my kids to smash leaves with their hands, I felt invincible! Age is a bitch is all I can say. There is definitely a difference from being a mom in her twenties to being a mom to a toddler in her forties. I feel like I'm always sick as of lately and I find myself wondering...Am I a hypochondriac? Well then I have to run to Web MD but that just tells me I'm dying. I know the truth and its that I burn the candle at both ends. But for now I will take time for me since I am currently on a semester break since I haven't had one in years....did ya read that? Years, almost four years to be exact. So for now I will write, study for the nurses entrance exam, try to lose some lard off my butt, cuddly my boys...in my bed because I don't want to frolic in the leaves anymore and pray that a cleaning fairy with have pity on me and clean my disgusting bedroom that looks like something out of the movie, The Labrynth. Off to make sure my kids are working on their science lesson, give my little monkey more juice and plop some antibiotic pills to kill this nasty sinus crud I have going on.

Cast is off so a walk to the park it is.

I haven't been cast less in almost 4 months. Getting the green light yesterday was like winning the lottery. With my cast I was unable to drive therefore losing any little bit of freedom I had. Last night I drove myself to the grocery store and shopped....slowly. I can't explain the happiness I felt just being able to drive. Today we skipped school. Boys read and journaled then we played. We took a walk to the park and all 3 of my boys ran around and even broke a sweat in the chilly weather. 

I think tomorrow calls for another park day❤️.

Right now

I'm a homeschooling mom, it's our first year. I was petrified to go on this journey but prayed hard and God gave me peace over this decision. Yes life is chaotic, yes I've lost some hair(wish it was weight), but I feel this is where my life is meant to be. I have a toddler whose just consuming life at full force and two preteens who seem to be enjoying being taught by mom. Today I feel grateful, Today I feel powerful, today I will just relish in what life has given me, good and bad and be thankful just to be able to be.

   Boys during their history lecture. Little Es allergies were bothering him and I think he was bored. Z on the other hand was all questions. 

       Homeschooling at its finest ❤️.

Toddler + Dog water bowls = Hot Messes!

Having a constant water supply and a toddler is a recipe for disaster. There is no way around it because well your pooch needs water. This whole situation is a constant battle in our home. After hearing myself yell "Ash No!" For the millionth time I decided to just give the boy his own water bowl.....problem solved. Now the boy gets his water to dip his Dinos in and I get to save my voice.

      Ash taking his Dinos for a swim

See now we are both happy ;).

Yeah I'm still alive.....

Can not believe I have not  blogged in almost a year. Quite honestly I have been pretty wishy washy with all this blogging business for quite some while now.  So lets see.... I am happy 2015 is gone, let the door hit it in the ass on the way out. Yes, 2015 was one of the worst years I have experienced. Only thing that got me through was my faith in God and my family who were there for me through it all. I can honestly say that through it all I know my family on his and my side truly love me and that alone helps the heart, soul and body heal. Sooooo what was the deal with this year? Well some personal issues followed by sinus infection, bronchitis, sprained ankle that turned out to be two torn ligaments and then some, wisdom teeth jacking up my mouth and causing pain, found out I was on the verge of being pre-diabetic (another way of saying loose one of your butt cheeks), and all this while homeschooling my children and attending night school. I had oral surgery on a Wednesday and ankle surgery the following day. With all this crap my sister came to stay with me for a week, my mother in law stepped in and helped after my sister left, my husband picked up the slack and was mommy and daddy as well as my personal chauffer, all along battling my brain to absorb chemical equations for chemistry. After a month I was finally released from crutches this past Wednesday so I can WALK!!!! This is huge for me people I am a very independent gal and I NEED to walk to cook, clean etc, I am a horrible patient ya'll! I still have a lot of physical and emotional healing heading but that's ok because I will get there. How will I get there? I will get there with faith, family and love for my family and because I am me, and those who know me have told me I am one tough bitch. Sorry for the crudeness that's just what I have been told AND that is why I will overcome it all!

Till my next post which will be sooner than later..

Liza

We are what?!

So little E has had some struggles this school year. I can honestly say it's been his toughest. Childhood anxiety is a horrible thing to witness and though I struggle with it myself I'm always at a loss for words. How do I make it better? How can I make you feel secure? I just tell him I know how he feels and that we love him. We're also trying to treat it holistically. With Es anxiety, Zs slowly falling in the cracks of the school system my mom mentioned that maybe I should homeschool. Well I threw a fit! How can I EVER do that?! I'm in school, have a toddler & most likely attending classes from 8- who knows when if I get accepted to nursing school next Spring! After my fit I thought about it again and decided to just pray about it, I gave it all to God. And you know what? I felt his presence and feel homeschooling is the best choice for us. We begin next fall. Not going to lie, I know we are going to hit some bumps but together we got this! I have that much faith in my God & my boys....,now that Baby, well that's another story!!

~ Liza