Oh the Feels!

Starting over was not part of the plan. Especially with me trying to make my way through school with my goal being nursing school. Yet, Five years ago we found out we were expecting again. This was quite a shock since we had a 7 and 8 year old. We both couldn't agree more starting over was one of the best thing to happen to us later in life. I was scrubbing super dirty having played outside with his big brothers all afternoon toes, watching his bath water turn mucky, and just soaking him in. As I rinsed him off he asked if I could add Mr. Bubbles to his bath. He then calls out and asks if I could make him Mickey Mouse. That is when I take a hand full of bubbles and plop them on his head to make ears. He then stands stares and his reflection in the mirror and giggles, showing those tiny white teeth. That's when it happens, "All the Feels" come streaming into my heart in such a gush. Being an older mom with her youngest so spaced out from his siblings has its advantages. One is you tend to not fret the small stuff, he's grumpy because he wants a cupcake for breakfast? Well I know it probably has same amount of sugar then a regular muffin or even cereal so yeah I'll give him the cupcake. You seriously just take things with more stride. But for me the number one advantage is enjoying every single moment. With Z & E I enjoyed them  but never allowed myself to see that they weren't  babies anymore, in my eyes they were still so little. It wasn't until Ash was born that our eyes opened to the fact that Z & E were little boys, not babies. So we absorb every giggle, pout, tantrum, squeal and smile that we can. It wont be long before our toddler is a gruff voiced teenager saying, "Mom, I'm still hungry can I have some more?"

Blog Dreamin....

So as one can see keeping up with this blog is not something on top of my list. Yet, last night I dreamed about this blog...why? I guess it was my mind screaming for me to do something for myself. I find that at the ripe ol age of 40 that I have changed since I first started this blog. I was a  mommy on a mission! I lived for crafts and picnics in the park. I wanted to bake for no reason and frolic through the parks and teach my kids to smash leaves with their hands, I felt invincible! Age is a bitch is all I can say. There is definitely a difference from being a mom in her twenties to being a mom to a toddler in her forties. I feel like I'm always sick as of lately and I find myself wondering...Am I a hypochondriac? Well then I have to run to Web MD but that just tells me I'm dying. I know the truth and its that I burn the candle at both ends. But for now I will take time for me since I am currently on a semester break since I haven't had one in years....did ya read that? Years, almost four years to be exact. So for now I will write, study for the nurses entrance exam, try to lose some lard off my butt, cuddly my boys...in my bed because I don't want to frolic in the leaves anymore and pray that a cleaning fairy with have pity on me and clean my disgusting bedroom that looks like something out of the movie, The Labrynth. Off to make sure my kids are working on their science lesson, give my little monkey more juice and plop some antibiotic pills to kill this nasty sinus crud I have going on.